Throwing Stones

Some people get all judgy – judgy because they think they know your story without even asking you. Gone are the days of judging a book by its cover; enter the days where people size you up through a third party’s poorly written, b-rated blog post from their far from accurate, twisted perspective of your story. I’m kind of in a situation like that – with people that are supposed to be close to me. I’m not usually into cryptic writing, but I just have to get this OFF of me.

In my extremely passion-filled HEART I want to shake these people, who for whatever reason, always look for the bad in a person – even if they can’t find it. There are just those who are born with an agenda – trying to make themselves look good by making others (falsely) look bad. In my MIND, I know I should just grin and bear it. But, how long do you let someone fabricate your story for you? I try to tell myself, it doesn’t matter what people think. Or, people MUST see through the smoke.

Bitter and jealous people are just really good at being mean, hiding behind a screen – possibly religion – with satan deeply seeded in their hearts. Maybe what people think doesn't really matter, but words and actions administered through THOUGHTS, cut. They cut deep.

 

It’s hurtful when people single you out by excluding you, or ignore you, don't celebrating your achievements, passive-aggressively telling untruths about you – especially when it is intentional. It is most hurtful when it comes from someone who, only in front of others will say, “I love you.”

 

Who wants to be “loved” like that?

 

 

Stir {Freaking} Crazy

I apparently did a lot of talking in my sleep last night.  Since childhood, rambling in my slumber has been a regular activity of mine.  But, over the past couple of years it has been more of a sporadic thing - probably due to sheer exhaustion from raising three kids.  So, what gives?

Maybe I am trying to compete with Nick's snoring - although there is really no competition there.  Or, maybe it's because I am drinking loads of Nyquil before I go to bed to keep me from coughing up a lung in the middle of the night.  Actually, now that I think about it, I know it is because I am absolutely stir-crazy having been confined to this house for the past week because of sudden viral activity that has permeated the entire family. 

Yep. That is definitely it.  In fact, I have a swarm of random thoughts and bits of information just swirling in my head.  Having only to use my toddler/preschool/kid voice, and sometimes my time-out voice, I have had little opportunity to get it out.  Sometimes you just have to purge the nonsense and thought dingle-berries to make way for the productive, rational and sophisticated thinking, you know what I am saying?  So, at risk at keeping Nick awake for yet another night, I feel I should just put it on the table.  Because I am considerate like that.

1.  I think God gave us our unique body shape so we can fit perfectly into the arms of those we love.
2.  I really like the word copious.  Not quite as much as paramecium, but enough to want to say it.  A lot.
3.  Some people always have an agenda. 
4.  Kids who are spoiled lose cute points, through no fault of their own.
5.  I have a cat with special needs.  Her name is Stilts.  Don't judge.
6.  People who congratulate others only when other people are looking are, by far, the most disingenuous.
7.  If you have expectations, you will always be let down. 
8.  Signs, signs, everywhere a sign.  Blocking up the scenery, breaking my mind.
9.  You can know someone your whole life and never real know who they are.  You can know someone  minutes and know immediately they belong with your soul.
10.  I think that bathing suits are dumb.
11.  If you are really good at something, the world will see it.  If you have to tell people, you probably really suck.

I feel much better. 

You're about to what?!?

On the way home from a family dinner at the Longhorn (yeehaw!), the White Chariot of Mayhem is bustling with activity - as always.  For those of you who don't know, the WCM is my term of endearment for my van.

Anyhoot - Maddie and Bella are in the far back giggling and saying silly things, singing and goofing off, and Roman is the the middle row shrieking and growling, making random post-dinner baby sounds.  Nick and are chit-chatting and the radio is on in the background.  The car is full of noise. 

And, then it happens.  You know, that phenomenon where all of sudden all conversation stops simultaneously.  And, in a fleeting moment there is a hum of silence.  It is a split second - possibly a couple of seconds of sudden stillness which is quickly interrupted by a tiny 8-year old voice that says, "I'm....about....to....fart*."  Say wha???

Nick and I are immediately brought to silent rolling laughter.  I have to slow the car down to a near stop because the tears in my eyes from laughing are obstructing my view.  And, then, as if it couldn't get any funnier a little 3-year old voice pipes up, all Beavis and Butthead style, "fart."   "Fart!"   "FART!" 

Oh my gosh.  Thank God she didn't actually follow through, but dang!  That was some funny stuff.

*DISCLAIMER:  Yes, my kids said fart.  So do yours.  Get over it.

Telling the Story

A lot of parents (and kids) are celebrating the end of the school year today – kindergarten graduations, moving on to college, or just making it through another academic year. I join this group amazed at how time has flown and finding it hard to believe that I have a daughter just days of 8 years old and a soon-to-be third grader. In academia, the progression through elementary school is an ordinary event, but for me I am celebrating a monumental achievement for my daughter, Isabella.

Unlike the other children in her school, Isabella has overcome an incredible obstacle. This was her first full year in a “main stream” classroom, as she was diagnosed with autism when she was five. After half a year of home-schooling and a full year of specialized training in a charter school devoted to children with autism – not to mention countless hours of therapy, dietary and medical intervention - she returned for second grade at the most amazing school on the planet, Holy Cross Lutheran Academy.

I was full of reservations and fear of how Isabella would adjust, not nearly as confident in my daughter's ability as I should have been. After all, it was just a few short years ago that Isabella was lost in her own body – unable to cope, severely delayed in language and speech, and unable to connect with those around her. I worried that children would see her “weakness” and make fun of her or she would struggle academically and it would just be too much for her to handle -emotionally, physically, and academically. I worried that Isabella would be a burden to her teacher and a disruption to the classroom. The sad truth is that she had been all of this in the past and I was reluctant to let go of that hurt and disappointment

At the beginning of the year, however, I did something I have never fully done before. I turned it over to God. I'm a control freak, so this has never been easy - this occasion was no exception. Truth is, I have always wanted God to help me do it MY way, not HIS way. But, in September at the Teacher's Commissioning at church I sat quietly and prayed for her teacher, Mrs. Fera, and for Isabella. Never before have I wanted something more badly, needed something so desperately, than for my daughter to succeed. So, I opened my heart and listened. And, then I just said, “here it is, Lord. She is yours. You brought us here. You lead. I will follow.” Without question, I knew that day God had heard my prayers.

At Easter, I turned one more thing over to Jesus. Reflecting, I felt like I had been mourning the death of my daughter's dreams because of autism. But, in reality, it was MY dreams I had for my child – not Isabella's. Her dreams are very much alive! I asked Him to cleanse my heart and to show me the daughter who IS, not the daughter who could have been. And, Isabella has emerged. It is no coincidence that Isabella is now an engaged 7-year old, chock full of attitude and excitement, quirkiness and brilliance, drive and determination, funny and smart, able and willing and FULL of God's love and grace. As I write this, I am overcome with emotion because she is my miracle, God's miracle, and I am so thankful for and proud of her.

In some of my hardest, darkest moments, I struggled with faith. When I was hurting for my Isabella and wondering what her future had in store for her, letting go seemed so unnatural. But, believing and trusting in God that He has a plan for ALL of us, even if it doesn't make sense at the time was the only thing left to do. I never imagined three years ago, Isabella would have accomplished such big things and overcome such enormous obstacles. At one time, I was terrified to look into tomorrow. But, now I am so excited to see her future unfold. She defies the odds – she is a miracle.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Jake Plummer is a nimrod and Jesus is for winners.

 In other news, ex-Broncos quarterback, Jake Plummer, is sick of seeing Tim Tebow display his love for Jesus Christ. I have two words for Plummer – Shove and It. Okay?

You know what I'm sick of? Teen moms plastered across covers of magazines geared towards young girls. I'm super-stoked that this is what my daughters see at eye-level when I am checking out at Walmart, subliminally affecting their ability to discern between what is and isn't appropriate.

I'm sick of Jersey Shore – I'm Italian and all the real Italians I know aren't spray-tanned, don't refer to themselves as guido's or juice-heads, and they speak the language. Their collars aren't popped and they aren't disrespecting women.  Italian culture is about family and loyalty – not demeaning your heritage to make a buck.

I'm sick of people “occupying” places instead of “doing” great things. Stop camping out in public parks, blaming people for your problems, sexually assaulting women and children, and pushing drugs - be part of the solution. Find your happy place and occupy that, okay? Oh, and just because dogs can defecate outside doesn't mean it is okay or acceptable for a human.

I'm sick of perfectly healthy people riding Larks in grocery stores because they are lazy. I went to Target today and there were more motorized shopping vehicles than there were kid-friendly carts.  If anything, they should be making mini-electric short buses for us parents who have kids.

I'm sick of seeing Bratz dolls and pageant kids and five-year old girls dressed as hookers. Whatever happened to preserving youth and innocence? A Peter Pan collar is a good thing and a lot less tempting than a crop-top to a sexual predator – who, consequently, are everywhere.

I'm sick of people getting all offended because people pray. Newsflash: Tim Tebow isn't peddling an evil message or one that is exploiting children, promoting promiscuity or entertaining vulgarity. He isn't abusive or inflammatory.  He is giving THANKS. He is showing love for the Father that gave him life and blessed him with his numerous gifts. Why is that so offensive?

Maybe if Tim Tebow raped a minor or was arrested for possession of a weapon or selling drugs, and upon making a touch down flicked everybody in the stands the bird, we wouldn't be so offended by him. Because that makes total sense, right?

I'm going to take the prayer thing. Just sayin...

The multi-faceted hair of Maddie Reese

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Seems to be a prominent theme in my life. What's a girl to do? Don't know. Today, I really don't care. It is too beautiful of a day for controversy.

Today I have been thinking a lot about time, and how much I lost occupying my thoughts with it's very nature. Whoa. Deep.

Actually, I was thinking about how all of a sudden I have three kids - Roman is just about 9 months old, Maddie is almost 3 and Bella is 7. It seemed like just yesterday I was stuffing myself full of Twinkies, fat and pregnant with my first baby.

Then Maddie interrupted my thought by asking me (again) if the dishwasher was clean. Hmmmm. Aren't you supposed to be two, kid? What is your fascination with the darn dishes? And, then I got to thinking how she was just a baby this time last year - her "big perm" just emerging. Then I got to looking at pictures and I came across these awesome shots. This will make you smile on your Friday!

Justin likes beavers and autism is cool!

Like, OMG! Justin Bieber might be a father! And, Kim Kardashian is getting divorced - again! Did you hear LiLo is going back to jail for doing more drugs? And, a two-pound monkey is getting a root-canal! Oh, and autism can be an advantage! Yay!

(Disclaimer: I am about to get real hot in here, so if you can't handle passion, you might want to close your window right about now).

What the FUCK! That's right, I said it. This situation totally warrants the F-bomb. The first few lines you read above are all HEADLINES on mainstream media websites. Who the hell cares and when did a developmental disability become a bonus? Who is writing this crap?

It's Vaccine Safety Awareness Week. Not many people know or even care. Our children are being injured, given lifelong disability, and dying because government is attempting to force you to inject your children with poison and DNA from other species to protect from childhood illness like chicken pox and the stomach bug. Nope- not newsworthy. No mention on Fox, CNN, WSJ – nowhere. Maybe if it had a ribbon and a color and was plastered across cereal boxes and fast food buckets of chicken, people might pay attention. But, there is no money to be made from healthy people.

Nowhere on any of these sites is their any mention that the CDC may be involved in the biggest scientific fraud in history. Oh, no. No discussion that scientists and government agencies that are supposed to be “protecting” the health of Americans – our children – have deliberately been hiding that the multi-billion dollar vaccine industry is fully aware their poison is, in fact, causing autism!

Instead, scientists are releasing “new information” that autism is an advantage. The scientists in bed with Big Pharma are obviously attune that the shit is about to hit the fan and are trying to prepare the zombies that even though vaccines are causing autism – it's okay! Because autism is fun! You might have a good memory or be really good at patterns! You may not ever be able to speak, but talking is over-rated, anyway.

In a society where most people will read a headline on MSNBC and take it as gospel without doing any investigation of themselves, this is reckless, misleading and out-of-control.

Let me make something perfectly clear – autism is not a blessing! Okay? Children are blessings; their disability is not. And, if you think having to spend more of your childhood hours in therapy while sacrificing the ability to play soccer or dance is an advantage, you are sadly mistaken. If you think that a stellar memory and being able to see things visually better than the next 7-year old is cool, then you haven't seen one struggle with fitting in with cruel “typical” children because she is weird and doesn't understand social cues. Not being able to hear your son or daughter say I love you is heart-wrenching, not just a weakness. Watching your child writhe in pain and stim with anxiety is not a consolation because they excel at putting together puzzles.

Giving this “scientist” the benefit of the doubt, I will agree that you have to identify the strength of a child or adult with autism, change their environment to allow for these strengths to be capitalized. But, newsflash, we don't live in a bubble. Classrooms don't accommodate language delays and speaking devices – you have to go to “special” schools. Are you going to pay the 25,000 dollar tuition to make that happen, Dr. whats-your-face? Are you going to ask Corporate America to not call an adult with autism “retarded?” Are you trying to tell me that people will be more inclined to hire an autistic man because he can score better in non-verbal IQ tests? Pfst. You lost me when you said you no longer believe intellectual disability is intrinsic to autism. No DUH! And you call yourself a doctor? You scare me.

People with autism are not dumb, they aren't less - they are people. They have hearts, they have brains, they have life, they have feelings, they have wants, they have desires – but because of their DISABILITY they are challenged with how to convey, understand and act out on those INSTRINSIC behaviors. People with autism spend their lifetimes learning how to behave to fit within society. Dr. Ignorance - you are naïve and stupid if you think that society will – in this lifetime – ever learn to behave like autism.

Wake up, people! News is not about celebrities making poor life choices. It is not about random primates getting dental work, it is not about crooked politicians, it is not about saying that disability from injury is a gift.

It is about finding cures, it is about the truth, it is about discovering the sustainable health of our children, of the human race.


http://www.naturalnews.com/034038_vaccines_autism.html
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/11/03/autism-can-be-advantage-researcher-says/?test=latestnews